trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
