he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
