matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
