I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
