I hope mine doesn't look like that
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
