I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize