Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
