The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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