I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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