Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize