So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
