I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
