i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
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She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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