No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
