So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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