Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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