I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
