Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I wish costco sold astroglide.

(248): View more from Michigan

i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.

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(518): View more from New York

i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

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(916): View more from California

rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this

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(586): View more from Michigan

he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.

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(707): View more from California

in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing

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(707): View more from California

Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.

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