Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
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we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.