Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling

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  (651): But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling http://tfl.nu/6n5a
  Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.

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  (970): I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach. http://tfl.nu/dziv
  Replies (44) Good night (4238) Bad night (1758)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.

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  (720): I think id rather eat ped egg shavings. http://tfl.nu/okl6
  Replies (11) Good night (1570) Bad night (5545)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry

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  (816): I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry http://tfl.nu/7m65
  Replies (25) Good night (964) Bad night (4534)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up

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  (828): You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up http://tfl.nu/y0oy
  Replies (27) Good night (6057) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

  (917): View more from New York City

  Those had pot in them

  (917): View more from New York City

  And good luck on your interview asshole

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  (917): If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you (917): Those had pot in them (917): And good luck on your interview asshole http://tfl.nu/911g
  Replies (51) Good night (17678) Bad night (1815)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.

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  (408): 4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen. http://tfl.nu/v3bi
  Replies (17) Good night (5555) Bad night (1353)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?

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  (319): Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be? http://tfl.nu/gqtw
  Replies (13) Good night (834) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"

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  (704): Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen" http://tfl.nu/5w2n
  Replies (5) Good night (1181) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.

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  (734): In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER. http://tfl.nu/mukx
  Replies (10) Good night (2419) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.

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  (714): I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5. http://tfl.nu/iwbe
  Replies (2) Good night (523) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.

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  (208): Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice. http://tfl.nu/e14u
  Replies (10) Good night (1247) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.

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  (815): We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni. http://tfl.nu/pqm5
  Replies (5) Good night (1482) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.

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  (586): Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed. http://tfl.nu/40ub
  Replies (3) Good night (427) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.

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  (703): All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it. http://tfl.nu/mbv5
  Replies (4) Good night (522) Bad night (324)

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