You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
