This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
