Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
