it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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