Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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