we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Barsexuality is the new black.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
