Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
