WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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