Fuck appropriateness.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
