Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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