so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
