your room smells of hookers.
And success
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
