I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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