There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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