she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
