if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
