Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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