I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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