I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
high people should be assigned attendants
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
