So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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