Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
