you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
