you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We need a shit load of segways right now
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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