Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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