Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
