Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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