dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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