I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
