Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
