Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
