I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
