you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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