So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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