That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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