My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize