im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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