Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize