There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
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Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
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I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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