i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
only if we run a train.
done.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
