My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
