since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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