So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
