I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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