someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
