i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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