Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
