the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
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i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
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It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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