All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
