My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize